My only New Year's Resolution this year was to take it a little easier on Skank Cancer in 2008. I've been unfairly harsh toward Katherine Heigl the last few months, and it's not like she's asking for it or anything. Here's a woman who keeps a low profile, supports decent causes (like the writer's strike and her new fragrance, Opportunism) and goes out of her way to avoid the paparazzi.

And over the holiday, she got herself hitched to a very lucky man, and I'm sure that Heigl and Josh Kelley will spend many wonderful months together before he wakes up one morning and decides that he can't stand another goddamn day staring at Skank Cancer's overly self-conscious smile and all that bitchiness brimming beneath a fake veneer of peppiness.

Of course, she appears to have sold the rights to her wedding photos to OK Magazine,because she's dead set upon showing everyone just how fucking happy she is in her $8,000 dress. She's not bragging, of course. And clearly she's not trying to show off. It just so happened that there was a photographer in the area who was willing to pay her a large sum of money for the rights to the photos of her most sacred and blessed day, the one that ought to be completely free of exploitative opportunism. Because the love between man and wife is a private matter, one that should be shared with only close friends and family, as well as the rest of the entire motherfucking world, especially 10 days ahead of her new film, 27 Dresses, which just so happens to be about weddings. It's a coincidence, I'm sure.

Man. So much for that resolution. My hatred isn't familiar with calendars. And yes, I can appreciate the irony in suggesting that she's the one chock-full of bitchiness.