Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise put together this performance of "Whatever Lola Wants" from Damn Yankees for a benefit gala, trying their damndest to look like two people who are sexually attracted to each other. In the video, which someone in the audience helpfully captured for posterity, Katie sings and struts about in an attempt to seduce Tom; and Tom pretends like he thinks its sexy. It's pretty much the gayest thing I've ever seen two people who purport to be making biblical-style missionary sex with each other participate in. And that includes the time that my parents dressed up like Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy for Halloween, except I'm pretty sure my parents don't have sex, or at least that's what I like to tell myself because no one wants to believe their parents have sex, so I'm sticking to it.