So apparently, being a loud-mouthed dumbass with no sense of responsibility must run in the family or something, because here's Bristol Palin in a new ad for The Candies Foundation. No, not the shoe place. In the ad, she's basically telling teens not to have sex unless they're super rich and famous like her. Or, you know, you could just wear a condom. I always found that teaching abstinence was like giving someone a bike, then telling them not to ride it until they have someone else, or they'll get hurt, and if you wear a helmet God will kill your heathen ass where it stands. Bitch please. Kids, for the love of God, do not listen to this woman. Sex is a good thing, just be smart about it and wear a condom. This really isn't that complicated.