"God" Hates...*Shakes Magic 8 Ball* Kevin Smith? Really?
The Westboro Baptist Church, or as I like to call them, "The Tila Tequila of Religion" has decided that it's been a while since they last decreed that "God" (meaning "Fred Phelps") hated something, so apparently they now decided that "God" hates Kevin Smith. Oh come on, I wasn't the biggest fan of Jersey Girl either, but I wouldn't say it's enough to send someone to Hell.Kevin Smith is a classic worker of iniquity. His favorite lie? "I'm okay, you're okay, as long as we're doing things that feel good & don't hurt anyone." Well, Kevin, you've got a problem: your view is definitely askew! Your life revolves around your insignificant private parts (which you proudly make public, as though someone cares!) & you're going to pretend emo-Jesus makes that okay. Seriously?
Here are the facts: (1) Smith is a hater of Biblical proportions! "Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, & not suffer sin upon him." Lev 19:17 If he had any love for anyone, he wouldn't be pushing you down the path to Hell with both of his grubby hands. (Source)
Once again, this is makes SO much more sense if you read it in a super queeny Paul Lynde voice. But seriously, my guess as to how they pick their targets:
Phelps #1: Soooo...Lady Gaga has a crappy new video out.
Phelps #2: No no no, we already did her. What else kinda sucked...
Phelps #1: Well, I saw Cop Out recently. It wasn't very good.
Fred Phelps: GOD HATES KEVIN SMITH!
Phelps #2: ...But-
Fred Phelps: GOD HATES KEVIN SMITH!
Phelps #2: ...Fuck it, let's get the rainbow picket signs.
Here's what I don't get--based on reports, this "church" is basically Fred Phelps and his extended f*cked up family members. It's not like Phelps has a TV show where he can urge dummies to send him money. So how can these morons afford to go around picketing people?
What a coincidence, my good man Feist. I just spent over an hour watching BBC's "The Most Hated Family In America", by the ridiculously attractive Louis Theroux. These people are lovely. Fred Phelps, never change. You do ever so much for my self-esteem.
Well, I know that Kevin has been tweet debating one of the Phelps' daughters for awhile now, so this comes as no surprise.
Frances - I've been scouring the Earth, the damn Earth, to find someone else who believes in the extreme hotness that is Louis Theroux.
And here you finally are.
Delightful.
Sweet Wench, you mean there are still those who remain steadfastly resistant to the man's toe-tingling hotness??!! My faith in humanity is shaken. And as for them, Louis Theroux raises his eyes in their general direction.
Those girls must have an amazing amount of willpower. Morons.
True_Blue: They can afford it because they use their hate tactics to bait people into attacking or "slandering" them, and then they sue the hell out of them. They're all lawyers.
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