In a move that will hopefully ensure fewer cases of Herpes in the near future, Katy Perry and Russell Brand are engaged. Or in simpler terms, they will now be fucking each other exclusively instead of other people. You are now 70% catching gonorrhea. Lucky you!

The wacky pair -- who've been dating since September 2009 -- became betrothed five days ago while on holiday in Jaipur, India. A pal says that Brand, 34, proposed with a ring, and that Perry, 25, happily accepted.

[...] Of their romance, a friend tells Us that Perry has "never connected with anybody like this." As for Brand, the Forgetting Sarah Marshall star "is super into her. She says he makes her laugh like nobody else in the world," an insider says. (Source)

Well, good for them I guess. As long as their wedding doesn't include giant inflatable strawberries and lipstick tubes, and Katy and Russell don't show up wearing a Hello Kitty one-piece bathing suit and a pair of assless chaps respectively. Come to think of it, why the fuck not, right? Whatever makes them happy and keeps their genitals away from civilized society, really.