That's it. That's what happened. A bird pooped on Tori Spelling's head. And thankfully she twittered about it, although neglected to include any helpful "twit pics" or other visuals.

Ive had a day!1st a bird pooped on my head at The Grove&now I just poured boiling water frm kettle all ovr my hand.I'm a HOT mess.Literally!

I was going to excuse writing about a bird pooping on Tori Spelling's head because it's a slow news day, but who am I kidding. Heidi and Spencer would have to literally commit a murder-suicide pact for me not to take insurmountable joy in a bird pooping on Tori Spelling's head. Christmas really did come early this year!