Mariah Carey was shooting a music video or something in this horrible swimsuit that looks like it was crudely fashioned out of a Hefty bag. Now, I'm not gonna give Mariah shit for gaining weight because she got married last year and everyone knows you gain new relationship weight when you're all happy and lovely-dovey and shit. Plus, you know, Nick Cannon probably doesn't mind since it's a scientific fact that black dudes like girls with a little extra meat on their bones.

But come on, she looks like King Kong Bundy in that thing. There's "unflattering," and then there's taking the word flattering and shooting it in the face with an ugly shotgun.