Fat Asian Spencer Pratt's bodyguard (why does this asshole needs a bodyguard again?)Thomas Meinelt is being subpoenaed in TLC's lawsuit against him, and apparently this guy knows things. Bad things. Bad, baaaaaad
things. *Rocks back and forth in a fetal position*
"Tom told me that Jon was secretly videotaped having sex with a woman in Los Angeles in October, and he's seen the tape!" said Stephanie Santoro, Jon's former flame and family nanny.
"Tom said people close to Jon put a camera in his hotel room, and paid a girl to flirt with Jon and have sex with him.
"He also told me that he saw Jon snort cocaine on more than one occasion, and that the more Jon got into partying, the more cocaine he used!" (Source)
The fact that a Jon Gosselin sex tape exists, somewhere, is more terrifying to me than terrorists, the swine flu, and the fact that eventually the sun will eventually supernova, expand and swallow our plant whole. Then again, the whole sun swallowing us up thing wouldn't be so bad if the Jon Gosselin sex tape was destroyed along with the Earth. Hmm ... I wonder if there's any way of speeding that process up. Let's get on it, science.