I've only ever had about three boyfriends. Only a handful of people have seen into the Pharaoh's Tomb!"Well, I'm stumped. I have no idea to what Beckinsale refers. Pharaoh's Tomb? No clue. I apologize, but given the lack of context, I'm unable to define the term. I'm at a complete loss. It's a mystery that will probably haunt us to the end.
"I have a scar. I was standing next to his cage and he grabbed something out of my hand. I opened the cage and the monkey started throwing things at me. I tried to punish him by lightly hitting him on the head, and he grabbed my hand and bit down on it like a sandwich."
"All that's (marriage) going to be is a piece of paper, really. What is it a guarantee of? I'll be yours forever? I'll be faithful? Bull! He is the light of my life and we're more in love now than we have been in our entire relationship."
“I had a chance to present an Oscar on Sunday and I was asked if I'd like to win one myself. And sure, of course, it's every actor's dream,” he says, with initially guarded enthusiasm. In fact, he adds, momentarily overtaken by the excitement of it all, “winning an Oscar is a goal of mine." (Source)It's good to have goals,
"Mariah looks better than she has ever looked. It's ridiculous," Ratner said. "Mariah has an incredible body, but she was always kind of very voluptuous. Now she's just like, fit. And we were like, we've got to show this body.
Comedian and actress Rosie O’Donnell wants to return to television in a sitcom about three best friends that would co-star “The Nanny’s” Fran Drescher. Nine months after her abrupt departure from the daytime talk show “The View,” O’Donnell said on her blog that she had teamed with Drescher on the project, which is still in the early stages. (Source)Yup. Fran Drescher and Rosie O'Donnell in the same goddamn half hour of television -- that's Technicolor vomit, folks. If you threw $5 million at an office full of television executives, they couldn't come up with a more lethal combination of annoying, grating, obnoxious, and detestable. Once I find it what network the sitcom will air on, I fully plan to delete it from my television, for fear that I might otherwise stumble upon the show and find myself searching for the nearest sun so that I might launch myself to a fiery demise.
It will feature “the most interesting, challenging, creative people we know — the ones who helped pave the way for us and our generation,” Ashley said in a statement.
Among them: shoe guru Christian Louboutin, actress Lauren Hutton, photographer Terry Richardson and writer Bob Colacello.
Deuce Droppings. Noun. Slang for excrement.
I've been reluctant to speak of this, if only because the very thought not only makes my ears bleed, it makes them spray geysers of earwax and hemoglobulous matter. But it's there. And this news sits on my chest like a steaming, three-ton pile of deuce droppings.
Perez Hilton has a $100,000 deal with Warner Brothers to start his own music label. Unbelievable! The man can't string a goddamn sentence together, and yet he will help to guide the future of our music industry. Would you trust a guy who dresses like that to pick out your music? And people wonder why the music industry is dying. It's not illegal downloads -- it's dumbass decisions like this.
And, of course, the ink hasn't even dried on the contract and Perez has already signed his first musical group. Here's their video -- and I have to begrudgingly admit, it's catchy!
Because it's as funny, or funnier, than its predecessors. (NSFW, obv.)
"Paris is tired of the haters and she's looking for someone new. She's looking for someone new and cool who she can trust."
"She's already got her diploma," according to the friend. "She wants to take her ACT. She's not wasting any time. People don't know her. When she gets something in her head, she'll make it happen. Everybody is so supportive of her."
The babies were born early Friday in Long Island, N.Y. The girl was born at 12:12 a.m. and weighed 5 lbs. 7 oz., and the boy followed at 12:23 a.m., weighing 6 lbs. "Jennifer and Marc are delighted, thrilled and over the moon," Lopez's manager Simon Fields tells PEOPLE exclusively.
"The former Soviet nations have a sweet tooth for straight-up comedies," Conor Bresnan, editor-in-chief of Box Office Mojo International, told People.com. "When these comedies have big-name celebrities like Jessica Simpson's, that's all that's needed to sell the movie. Russian and Ukrainian audiences have an even bigger urge for escapism than Americans. So films like 'Blonde Ambition' will gross more than 'No Country for Old Men.' (Source)That's great! In a country with one of the highest death and alcoholism rates in the world, Jessica Simpson freakin' box-office gold! Did you know that alcohol poisoning is one of the leading causes of death in the Ukraine? It make sense now, doesn't it? The entire country is completely shit-faced; of course, they love Jessica Simpson. They have no brain cells left.
Pratt, who said he is collaborating with EA on the game, told Us, “it's top secret. Let's just say that everyone will be addicted.” He said “there's going to be two versions: the adult version and the one for minors,” adding, “just be ready, that's all I have to say.” Expect the game to hit shelves in 2009, Pratt said, “right around Christmastime, probably.”
EA did not return e-mails for comment.
As for how his boys with Britney Spears, Preston, 2, Jayden, 1, are doing, "They're good," she said. "I've always said he's an amazing father ... it's just now people decide they want to listen. He's an awesome dude. He makes mistakes -- people do that. It's part of life."
I want to create something new that will help millions of people end the seemingly never ending fatty-roller coaster ride. I am especially passionate about seeing to it that our next generations are not struggling with the same weight issues that my generation has struggled with.
Speedfit owner Alex Astilean sued Simpson last year for $10 million - and since she's refused to settle, Astilean's now suing her manager dad, Joe, as well. Astilean said, "They are hurting millions of fat people in America." Simpson's rep said, "It's a legal matter that's in the hands of attorneys."
"I don't want to give too much away because it doesn't air until February 23, but let's just say before I did a back-flip on a motorcycle I should have learned how to ride one first. I have to go now. I have to empty the (expletive) bag on my leg that I have toThat Knoxville: He's always been way ahead of his time; it appears that he's simply trying to speed the de-evolution of life by five centuries. Dumbass.
wear for the next two weeks until my torn urethra heals."
"We are living in some very exciting times," Lee said Monday. "And the months leading up to the election in November will determine which way this country is going to go; forward or backward. It's up to you to do the right thing."
"When people hear what we have in the bank, it's gonna blow their minds," her manager-beau boasted. "Madonna, eat your heart out. Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming - they're gonna sell 10-million plus."
Coleman, who turned 40 last week, tells news show "The Insider" he's still a virgin: "It's my business, it's my issue and I really don't think it's a problem."
But he insists he never set out to become a 40-year-old virgin: "I don't choose to be one, I just am. I have love in my heart, I have the desire; I just don't know what it is. It'll happen when it'll happen, and it'll happen for all the right reasons."
She has made a movie so incredibly bad that Berlin festivalgoers were staggering around yesterday in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens.Deathly pale? Mewing like maltreated kittens? Oh, come now: That's just how Germans express their enthusiasm. You should've seen German filmgoers after the David Haselhoff sensation, Baywatch: White Thunder at Glacial Bay; they were crippled with joy, limping around sidewalks, foaming furiously at the mouth, and screeching like banshees at sex-toy orgy.
Splenda Daddy. Noun. A wanna-be sugar daddy, a sugar daddy in the making, or a guy who's not quite a sugar daddy because of lack of disposable income.
Gary "what'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Coleman recently revealed that he secretly got married in Nevada last year. Coleman, a 40-year-old-virgin up until he wed, says that his now wife, 22-year-old Shannon Price, was the first person he'd ever been romantic with.
Shannon, however, was disappointed to learn that she'd ended up with a Splenda daddy: He's got face recognition, but that boy is broke; last I heard, he's filed bankruptcy and was working as a security guard. In turn, Shannon is living a life of luxury now: Her job is to sell Coleman's memorabilia on EBay. She’s a great eBayer,” Coleman said. "She’s a fabulous eBayer. I hope she gets famous for that.”
Now that's shooting for the stars.
According to the eyewitness, Barron, who was clad in jeans, white T-shirt and black jacket, "was absolutely falling-down drunk and when the cops arrived he was handcuffed immediately." The 18-year-old had been traveling southbound on the Pacific Coast Highway with a brunette female in the passenger seat when he barreled into the station, hit the station manager and then crashed into a pump. "He couldn't find his wallet to give his license so the cops had to take it from his jeans," added the witness, who also said, "There were six cops and three police cars," and that cops arrived at the scene within 10 minutes of the call.
Film editor Steel also revealed Heather, who lost her left leg below the knee in a motorbike accident in 1993, went wild with pleasure when he massaged her amputated limb.
He said: "Heather has a very unusual erogenous zone - her stump. I used to massage one particular area and it gave her an orgasm."
Britney looked happy and upbeat, he said. Madonna’s “Material Girl” and “True Blue” were part of her play list. Britney led the class in “her favorite brown cowboy boots, fishnet stockings, a red short skirt, and a bluish greenish top that hangs down past her skirt.”
Parents for the seven kids waited outside while she taught. A little girl, who took the class, gushed, "We had so much fun. Britney was wearing little red shorts and she looked so pretty” as she and her mother headed to their car.
It is also extremely erotic. People will be blown away and even shocked. Penelope and Scarlett go at it in a red-tinted photography dark room, and it will leave the audience gasping.Gasping? Really? Given the median age of a Woody Allen filmgoer these days (77), I suspect that's just their oxygen tanks acting up. Don't get me wrong; Scarlet and Penelope are attractive people, but I suspect a Woody Allen lovemaking scene would involve entirely too much dialogue -- the usual Woody Allen patter. There'd be so much ketching about bra straps and over analyzing the semantics, that by the time they got down to doing the nasty, the audience will have already fallen asleep.
Expect a slow start today, no matter how many shots of espresso you go over your usual limit!Well, you heard it here first: Britney Spears, after sleeping in, will die of an caffeine overdose. Take that, National Enquirer.
I just wanna color outside the lines
I've been reprimanded 'bout a thousand times
I'm a Rulebreaker
You know that I'm a Rulebreaker
S-s-s-s-s-some say I'm a black sheep
No, I'm not gon sleep late
Up around 3 o`clock, drinkin til my tummy full
You think I'm a rebel, sweet-talkin makin trouble
Get here on the double 'fore I break a little somethin down
"When I look back on this last year, it's like, what was I thinking?" (Source)Well, that's a goddamn funderstatement if I ever heard one.
"I've had a lot happen to me in my life. Now I've learned to use those experiences in my acting. I'll think of something in my life, use it in the scene, and it really works."Having had only one significant experience in her life (repeated, ad nauseated), Paris was only able to conjure up one facial expression for the role, repeated in each scene of her latest epic, Hottie or Nottie. The expression is best described as: Blowjob Face. It's an expression that's catching on in Hollywood, influencing Blake Lively's latest pose, after the jump:
At another point in the evening, Sam bragged to me that he is the one who receives Britney's checks and that one of them was for me. I told Sam that I hadn't gotten any checks from Britney. Sam then told me that they are in his car. He told me that if he weren't in the house to give Britney her medicine, she would kill herself. Then he said to me "If you try to get rid of me, she'll be dead and I'll piss on her grave."
In England we smoked rolled cigarettes. It's better to smoke rollies than straights because straights have chemicals that keep them burning. So if you have to really smoke, smoke rollies. (Source)That's just brilliant, Joss. What's next? An AIDS benefit in which you proudly declare that you have "safe sex" with pre-broken condoms? A Mothers Against Drunk Driving charity event in which you claim that it's OK to drive if you're drunk on warm beer?
"Faithfully" is a popular song by the band Journey, sometimes often incorrectly named 'I'm Forever Yours' or just 'Forever Yours', from their album Frontiers. The song describes a "music man" staying faithful to his girlfriend while he is touring and performing on the road.
This news is a couple of months old now, but I doubt many people noticed it in December when Journey announced they had a new lead singer. Arnel Pineda. A Filipino. Who they found on YouTube, of all places. And who does Steve Perry better than Steve Perry ever fucking did. Jesus: If you watch one YouTube video today, let it be the one above. Prepare to relive your 80s prom all over again, folks.
The guy has a fascinating back story, too. Do check it out.
Sick. Adjective. Similar to cool or "off the hook", referring to something that is great or far exceeds the minimum level of satisfaction. Ex. See Above. (Note: Video may be psychologically damaging to New England Patriot fans).
The Resnick Neuropsychiatric Hospital is known as one of the top facilities of its kind; still, "It is a terrible situation," says a source close to the Spears family. "Britney is in a padded room. Her family is so worried about her."
Amateurish. Adjective. Characteristic of an amateur, esp. in having the faults or deficiencies of an amateur; inept.
I don't think "amateurish" quite does justice to the level of Lisa Rinna's incompetence -- maybe the TVGuide Channel, when hiring celebrity correspondents, ought to prioritize the ability to speak coherently over quantity of lip collagen. The interview above, with Casey Affleck, is cringe worthy. Shameful. Embarrassing.
"I don't want to sound conceited, but I don't think there has been an actor or celebrity-turned-racecar driver that has made it as high up on the racecar circuit as I have. So I don't think there's anyone who can keep up with me. And that's just me being honest."So, in other words: He's kind of a big deal.