I'll See Your Brooding and Raise You Angst.

OK, I know it's really assy to disappear for a week just to come back and immediately promote a review on Pajiba, but thems the breaks. Here it, is -- Supernatural Season Two.

Also, I will be doing the daily Pajiba Love column for the next few months, so tune in for that!

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

I'm not very happy with My Favorite Show On Television Right Now this morning. But before I delve into the precise reason for my disappointment, first a little background. Since none of you jerks watch!

Despite having two of the most hunkalicious male leads on television, the creators of Supernatural are rather modest with the showing of skin. As a result, about 98% of the time Sam and Dean are covered with no less than four layers of clothing. And that's fine. Because unlike men, us women don't need to see our sex symbols walking around half nekkid all the time. But when they do throw us a bone and give us shirtless scene... Whoo! It is worth it!! The fan message boards pretty much light up like a pinball table.

Same thing with the sex scenes. It seems like the going pattern is one per season. And that would be fine too. Since the boys are roaming the country, if they were nailing girls left and right they would be nothing but common manskanks. Except that the sex scenes that we do get on this show are, well... kind of terrible.

The first season gave us the womanizing Dean having boring ex-girlfriend sex. That was just a retarded episode overall; one of the few I haven't bothered to revisit on DVD. I mean, the Monster Of The Week was a racist ghost truck. (I'm not making this up!) As if they thought they could just throw in Dean Sex and make us forget how lame and idiotic the racist ghost truck was.

A year later fans seemed willing to forgive and forget, as the internets have been all a buzz for the past few months that A. Sam was going to have sex with a B. werewolf who he would then have to C. kill. Sounds awesome, right? I mean how could they possibly fuck that up?!

Well first of all, he didn't even end up having sex with her until after he knew she was a werewolf and thought that they had cured her of her werewolfedness. (Or lycanthropy, whatever.) So right there, when we were all expecting naughty werewolf sex, instead we got "Oh, my hero!" sex. Which as you can imagine, is somewhat less thrilling.

And then, the sex itself was so horrifically unsexy, I can compare it only to Mitchell Sex.* Finally, when they realized that Werewolf Lady was not, in fact, cured... Sam tearfully shoots her after she tearfully begs him to, as if she's fucking Old Yeller. I mean, COME ON!!!!!! Oz managed to live a somewhat productive and fulfilling life, didn't he? Haven't they ever even seen Buffy?

I should also mention that the werewolves themselves were spectacularly crappy. They didn't even resemble wolves or have fur or anything. They just looked like their normal people selves with long teeth and nails and crack eyes. Boooring!

That's IT, Supernatural. Coupled with last week's Shyamalanesque debacle, to quote Colbert: You're on notice!

*The Mitchell Sex actually starts about a minute into that clip if you want to jump ahead. If you haven't seen Mitchell Sex before, you probably won't want to miss it. If you HAVE seen Mitchell Sex before, you're probably already watching it because Mitchell Sex is awesome.

She Saved The World... A Lot.

It's known in some parts that Litelysalted is a fan of all things Buffyverse. I still watch Buffy and/or Angel every morning on TNT/FX before work, alternating between which show is having the better season and flipping to avoid crappy episodes. (With my luck however, it always seems like Double or Nothing and Beer Bad are airing on the same day.)

Buffy ended it's run with the seventh season, however some fans of the show may know that an 8th season is in the works, in the form of Joss Whedon penned comic books; with the first episode issue debuting in comic shops nationwide next week. I've had mixed feelings about this. I'm not a "comic book person" and would undoubtedly be teased and tormented to no end by Mr. Salted for bringing home Buffy comics; to an even greater extent than the teasing and tormenting I endure for watching Buffy and Angel in the first place. But part of me needs to know what's going to happen to the Scoobies! The series ended so gloriously ambiguously that a comic book revival could be awesomely awesome or Joss could just fuck the whole thing up with his bloated imagination having no restrictions, as with the medium of television. (And even with television, the series wasn't totally without the occasional fuck up.)

Well, today I was sent this spoilerific wiki entry on some details of this season 8, and here are some of my random thoughts:

Buffy is not dating The Immortal as "The Girl in Question" had stated. This is in fact a ruse set up by Andrew Wells using lookalikes, and partially as a prank on Angel and Spike.
Well, the fact that this was a "ruse" is partially a relief, but still annoying that whole stupid thing on Angel had to happen in the first place... Not to mention a lame way to cancel it out. Next.

Xander leads "central command" which is in Scotland.
Hee! Xander leading "Central Command" of anything beyond maybe a Chuck E. Cheese is laughable, at best. As if it wasn't implausible enough that we've already had "Construction Site Manager" Xander. Please!

Dawn experiences "growing pains" of "ginormic [sic] proportions" as a byproduct of losing her virginity. Whedon also makes mention of a "Giant Dawn."
I sure as HELL don't like where this is going.

Anya will definitely reappear although she will not be resurrected. Whedon describes it as being "all about Anya" with a possibility of an appearance by bunnies.
ANYA is back?! With BUNNIES?! Yay!! Okay, we're getting warmer...

Riley Finn and his wife may show up but nothing is set right now as the writers of the comic are going to start with the core characters.
The only time I would ever want to see Riley Finn and his vanilla-ass wife again would be to setup for their gristly deaths. PERIOD.

The season's Big Bad is set to be a returning cast member.
Oh, please let it be D’Hoffryn, please let it be D’Hoffryn, please let it be D’Hoffryn!! How does that saying go? Hell hath no fury like a demon pimpdaddy scorned? The Scoobies took from him his best two ho's. I know I'd be pissed. Plus, D’Hoffryn? Is just awesome.

Angel and Spike will definitely be featured, but only sparingly.... Faith will appear in the second arc, written by Brian K. Vaughan.
Faith gets her own arc, with very little emphasis on Frick and Frack? THAT'S IT! Count me in! Stay tuned for my review of the first issue...

Supernatural, I wish I could quit you...

Don't watch the show? New to my blog? Well if you give even the slightest crap about the rant I'm about to go off on, go here and catch up on the basic plot.

Okay. Are we all caught up? Good. Season 2 started with the brothers Winchester (and Papa "Ass Dad" Winchester) barely clinging to life after a run-in with Arch Nemesis Demon. Dean is in a life-threatening coma and to make a long story short, Ass Dad makes a deal with Arch Nemesis Demon to trade his life for Dean's. Or something. There's a cloud of mystique surrounding that part. Which actually isn't so assy because I'd rather have Dean around, what with the fantabulous hunkiness and all.

Moving on! Before Ass Dad dies, he whispers something to Dean about Sam. Who, (if you read my summary), has psychic/telekinetic powers, which we know now are somehow important to Arch Nemesis Demon. Then Assy Assface dies and all we know about the secret is that it's been giving Deano a major and increasingly tiresome bug up his ass for the past 9, (yes nine, count 'em) episodes. Oh and that he also lied about it when Sam asked if Ass Dad had any last words. Here! See it for yourself!



Mmm... Wasn't that fun? And doesn't Dean look absolutely delish in those hospital skivvies? Moving on! Again! So now, two weeks ago, we get the following promo at the end of the last episode:



Okay, if you don't want to watch that whole thing, (and if you do, I should mention that only the last 10 seconds are relevant to what I'm referring) Dean says to Sam, "Dad told me something before he died. Something about you." DUN! So I was exceptionally thrilled to watch last night's brand new episode. Except... Guess what? That scene takes place the last minute of the episode, and ENDS there!!!!! And now it's on hiatus for like, a month! DAMN YOU, KRIPKE!

Jared Padalecki: Friend to the Animals

Just when I thought Sam Winchester... I mean Jared Padalecki... couldn't possibly get any dreamier, he goes and does this. Le sigh... Ladies. If you're still not watching Supernatural, I don't know what more I could possibly do or say to convince you otherwise. While I can't always get behind Peta because I think sometimes their ridiculous stunts (coughPamAndersoncough) undermine their good intentions, this is definitely a step in the right direction.

Source article.

Freakin' Sweet!

Yes, even though I had promised Mister Litelysalted otherwise, I compulsively ran out to Best Buy yesterday on my lunch break and purchased the Supernatural DVDs. Can you really blame me, though? They've only been running the damn commercials for it, like non-stop this entire week. I'm only human, dammit!

So last night the Mister was out at a ballgame and I was thrilled to have the place to myself. It was just me, the Supernatural boys, a bottle of wine and some snacks. I must really be getting old if these are rousing evening plans. No, you know what? Screw you! I'm almost thirty. It's perfectly acceptable for me to be excited about these plans. And it was a Wednesday night after all. It's not like it was a weekend or anything.

Okay, moving on. I was finally able to see the pilot episode in it's entirety, which was fun since the first time I watched the show I found it when randomly flipping through channels and missed the whole first half. (That was the last time that happened, though.) However, I made the unfortunate decision to conclude my little marathon with the "Day in the Life of Jared and Jenson" featurette. That was kind of a smack in the nuts.

Let's just say it was not unlike the experience of finding out that the Tooth Fairy is really your Mom... Only switch out the "Tooth Fairy" for "Hunkalicious Badasses" and switch out "Mom" for "Totally Embarrassing Nerds." Fortunately I was getting pretty drunk by that point, so with any luck I should be able to repress that featurette as not to taint future episode viewings.

Supernaturally Delicious!

I saw this directory advertisement at the mall this past weekend, and was so thrilled I almost shat my pants. That's right. I have a completely unadulterated, total and unapologetic love for the television show Supernatural. Love!

The premise if you are unfamiliar, is that two beautiful boys (brothers Sam and Dean Winchester), drive around in a beautiful '67 Impala, fighting ghosts and monsters, all while maintaining stylish hairdo's and a fabulous wardrobe. There is a recurring plotline about their family that involves them searching for their father, who is searching for the demon that killed their mother (and Sam's girlfriend) and Sam also has some telekinetic powers which conveniently turn on and off at random. But most of the weekly plots are as self contained and formulaic as an episode of Full House:

The brothers show up in a random town where they read about a strange death or disappearance, bicker about whether or not the occurrence is in fact supernatural, do some meager investigating and discover that it is, fight the thing, save the girl, and move on to the next town accompanied by a bitchin classic rock soundtrack and the purr of the Impala.

Sometimes the boys fight with each other. Sometimes they exhibit tremendously schmoopy displays of brotherly love. Or patriarchal fighting/love, if Papa Winchester is around. (Who is not too shabby, himself.) It should come as no surprise that they always do their best acting through facial expressions.

It's true that Supernatural doesn't always have the best effects, continuity, or writing. (In one episode about killer insects, they actually tried to pass off plastic Halloween spiders as real spiders.) But when you have two leads who look like this, (three, including the car) who really needs those things, anyway?

If you're looking for that perfect gift to get your Litelysalted for her birthday, Supernatural Season 1 comes out on DVD September 5th! Special features include: A Day in the Life of Jared and Jensen. Wheeeeee!