Because you can never have enough silicone pumped into your tits, Heidi Montag is going back under the knife to upgrade her boobs from "Cartoonishly Big" to "Oh Jesus, they're coming for us sweetie! Take the kids! TAKE THE KIDS AND RUN! I'LL HOLD THEM OFF AS LONG AS I CA-MMMMMMMMFFFF!!!"

"She wants to do it within the next two months and film it for the new TV show she and Spencer have been pitching to cable networks E! and Oxygen," an insider tells the magazine. "She feels forced into it, because she didn't get what she wanted last time. She's not going to be satisfied until they're bigger."

The kicker? "Heidi's purportedly looking to have the surgery done in Europe rather than by an American-board-certified doctor," the mag reports. (Source)

I'd like to take the time to remind everyone that this is a 23-year-old woman we're talking about. One who has already undergone more surgery than most people will in their entire lives. Hell, I'm at home recovering from hernia surgery, and I'm already turbo-loaded with enough painkillers to knock out a fully-grown elephant. This poor woman must have more meds in her than a goddamn pharmacy. Hell, I'm pretty sure if you pull her head back, Vicodin probably shoots out of her neck like a PEZ-dispenser.