Spencer Pratt must be off his meds again or something, because he went off on a psychotic twitter rant attacking Audrina Patridge (a worthy opponent) and her "Tijuana" plastic surgery. I waded through most of the nonsense and tried to make it as coherent as possible:

I would like to make it CLEAR! My wife and audrina have severed all ties! We no longer deal with that fake world and fake people like her.

Audrina - Don't hate because your nasty Tijuana plastic surgery got you no press... and my wife is #1 story on people - 5 days in a row!

Who elected you to gage cool - BITCH! Why don't u and ur played out 90s singer Cabrera go into a bathroom stall and do what u do best...

Oh the truth is coming... I'm not playing anymore. Everyone stay tuned... its all coming out!

Audrina - you want press? Leak another 50 naked photos of yourself like u did to get relevant to in the first place.

So glad my wife gets her surgery in bev hills and not where Jwow and audrina go. We love american doctors!

So ... Did Spencer basically just admit that Heidi had all that plastic surgery for publicity? Whatever, like we didn't know that anyway. At any rate, while Audrina Patridge may have a busted face and breasts so far apart you could land a small plane between them, at least she doesn't look like a blow-up doll magically come to life who might melt in prolonged exposure to direct sunlight. Jesus. These are like 23-year-old girls we're talking about; it's not a contest. Either way at this rate they're going to be falling apart, Death Becomes Her style, by the time they hit 40.