Good news for those of you who have a thing for Oompa Loompas with bad hair and a terrible taste in clothing: Snooki's back on the market! Yeah, her and her pocket-sized bodybuilder boyfriend have split up, which means you now have the chance to sleep with a living Cabbage Patch Doll.

Sources close to the Snookster tell us the "Jersey Shore" star decided to drop her BF Emilio after he auditioned for "The Real World."

We're told Snooki was madly in love with the dude -- but was bothered by rumblings that he was using her for the fame. One source tells us when Emilio tried out for "RW" -- that was the final straw for the Snook. (Source)

God, why does this sound exactly like the opening to one of those old Japanese monster movies where Godzilla or whatever rises out of the waters and destroys Japan? Only instead of Godzilla, it's Snooki, and instead of just walking around smashing Styrofoam buildings, she's just trying to fuck anyone in a five-mile radius. All I'm saying is, if you're in Miami, beware of Guidozilla.