The trailer for Jennifer Aniston's turkey baster movie is out, and it looks slightly less awful than imagined. (Pajiba)

So Kara Dioguardi, the chick from American Idol no one cares about, was in a bikini or something, and shockingly, no one still cares about her. (Yeeeah!)

One of the whores Tiger Woods banged put his text messages on the web, and holy crap, Tiger's a dirty bird. (The Blemish)

One of the chicks on America's Next Top Model fell twice last night, and one of those times involved being hit by a giant pendulum...Yeeeeeeeah. (Seriously? OMG!)

Awwww, how sweet, Gwyneth GOOPy Paltrow got down off her pedestal long enough to discover Fried Chicken. (Celebitchy)

Gisele Bundchen is still hotter than you could ever hope to be. (Evil Beet)

Oh wait, never mind: Britney Spears and Jason whatever are still together. (BricksandStones)

Yay! South Park is back tonight and they're taking on Tiger Woods, David Letterman and Bill Clinton! (Agent Bedhead)

Oh look, Megan Fox got voted as having the best butt. Hey, why not. (POTP)

I'd probably be more shocked about this cover touting Billion Dollar Babies if it were on anything other than Star magazine. (popbytes)