In news that should not be surprising to anyone capable of understanding basic human anatomy and why cramming massive amounts of fatty bullshit into a stressed out person probably isn't the best idea in the world, Lindsay Lohan's terrible father had a mild heart attack yesterday. Ummmmm...gasp? Shocker?

She said: "He was short of breath all day. His blood pressure skyrocketed. Right now they've told him it looks like he had a minor heart attack but they are still doing tests on him. "Michael was in Miami. We just flew back to New York. But he didn't feel well all day."

Michael was taken to hospital last week after suffering chest pains and admitted he was concerned for his health before he was hospitalised [sic] yesterday. (Source)

Like nobody couldn't see this one coming from, like, a mile away? If Lindsay Lohan was my daughter, I would have had a heart attack a loooooooong time ago. Actually, it wouldn't be so much a heart attack as it would be my heart pretty much tearing its way out of my chest and handing me a letter of resignation along the lines of "Your daughter is a crazy bitch and I'm not gonna handle this shite anymore."