Now that someone finally racked up enough brain cells to mercy-kill "The Hills" (Editor's note: HA!), you'd think the cast would have no choice but to go out into the world and get (gulp) real jobs. But of course, you'd be wrong because your stupid, stupidhead. Real jobs are peasants! Which is why Heidi decided to write a script for a 3-D movie about her boobs fighting a shark. No, really. She did.

"After working with Oscar-winner Ron Howard on a short film project [for FunnyorDie.com] and then working for days with the comedic genius director Dennis Dugan and his team of brilliant comedy visionaries at Happy Madison on Just Go With It starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston, I have been able to truly find what makes me the happiest in life," Montag says.

And what might that be? "Getting to truly show the world my creative ability ... while playing ... different characters."

One of the characters Montag wants to play is "a lifeguard named Summer" in a script she wrote herself. (Source)

First off, I love how the first part she mentions is the 3-D aspect, because really, the "Sharks vs. Tits" story just wouldn't be believable without it. Second, I don't think she actually wrote an entire script herself, so much as she got some letter magnets, spelled "SHARCK" and "BRESTS" on the fridge, then called someone in to ghost-write the rest of it. Believe me, it's how they came up with the script for Transformers 2.