It's almost Valentine's Day, which means my level of hatred for everyone and everything has increased exponentially right now. So you can imagine how I feel about the news that Paris Hilton might be engaged to her dick-of-the-week, who's name I will never bother remembering because he's schtupping Paris Hilton.

During her speech at the Hearts for Hope benefit in Los Angeles, she said: "I'd like to thank my future sister-in-law Casey Reinhardt." [...]

Paris, 28, has made no secret of the fact she wants to get married this year. Speaking about Doug, she said last month: "I wouldn't rule out a wedding in 2010. With how amazing everything is going between us, I see a very bright and happy future. (Source)

I for one really do hope that they get married; mind you, it's for entirely selfish reasons. Mainly, I just want to see them when they inevitably get divorced four months later, constantly take potshots at each other in the media and spend all their money they have on divorce lawyers until they eventually have to live out on the streets. Happy freaking Valentine's Day, you jags.