Here's a guide on how to break up with your significant other over Valentine's Day. Because f*ck you, Valentine's. (Pajiba)

Nu-uh, no. Kelly Clarkson is many things, but fat? Oh no you di'int. (Yeeeah!)

Apparently, Julia Roberts earns more in one second than you do in an entire week. WHAT. THE. EFF. (The Blemish)

What? Oh goddammit Suri Cruise, stop being all adorable and stuff! (Seriously? OMG!)

Oh God, why are people still going on about how great Roman Polanski is? HE DRUGGED AND RAPED A CHILD. (Celebitchy)

you know you're boned when people would rather hang out with the cast of Jersey Shore instead of you. Isn't that right, Lindsay Lohan? (Celebslam)

Wanted to learn more about the kinda short but ridiculously good looking guy Snooki's banging? Here you go. (HollyWire)

Need irrefutable proof that Tila Tequila isn't preggers? I mean, aside from the fact that she is crazy as a sh*t-house rat. (CelebSmack)

Here's Jessica Biel at the premiere of "Valentine's Day". (usemycomputer)

One of the sluts Tiger Woods banged is working at "Extra" now. (Celeb Jihad)

It's official: It's time to launch Amy Adams Baby Bump Watch '10! (Allie Is Wired)

Oh God, Katy Perry is preggers too? We're gonna be inundated in celebrity babies soon, I can feel it. (Evil Beet)