Jessica Simpson is Sexual Napalm

jessica021010.jpgJohn Mayer gave an interview in the March issue of Playboy, in which he discusses everything from his masturbation habits, Jennifer Aniston, and why "black people love him." (He really says that, you can read the whole thing here.) But the best soundbite that he'll act totally incredulous that the media is making a huge deal over, is when he dishes about his sex life with Jessica Simpson. Because the guy is a gentleman like that.

PLAYBOY: In 2006 you began dating Jessica Simpson, and the paparazzi started stalking you, turning you into a tabloid fixture. Certainly you knew that was going to happen.

MAYER: It wasn't as direct as me saying "I now make the choice to bring the paparazzi into my life." I really said, "I now make the choice to sleep with Jessica Simpson." That was stronger than my desire to stay out of the paparazzi's eye. That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me.

PLAYBOY: You were addicted to Jessica Simpson?

MAYER: Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. (Source)

I usually feel bad for Jessica Simpson when anybody else but me is picking on her, and at face value this does sound pretty embarrassing. But when you put into context that John Mayer has probably literally slept with thousands of women, many of them being "ladies of the night" who are highly trained in the art of banging dudes, you gotta admit that's pretty impressive. She may not go down in history as an amazing singer or songwriter or actress -- but she will go down as "the girl who almost ruined John Mayer's dick for other women." Not bad, Jessica Simpson. Not bad.