Here's a career assessment of Denzel Washington, who can be boiled down to the following: Totally badass, but kind of a jerk. (Pajiba)

Taylor Momsen couldn't give two shits about the earthquake in Haiti. In related news, Taylor Momsen is a dumbfucking child prostitute who smells and has fat ankles. (Yeeeah!)

Even Tila Tequila's publicist, which must be the easiest job in the world considering how much of a famewhore she is, can't stand Tila's annoying ass. (The Blemish)

Conan O'Brien put The Tonight Show up for sale on Craigslist. For those keeping score at home: Leno: 0. Everybody Else: 1,000,000,000,000. (Seriously? OMG!)

Gabourey Sidibe and Dakota Fanning are on the February cover of V Magazine, and you know what? They look pretty good. (Celebitchy)

You know what's a good reason for getting your son a $600,000 car? For getting hus license back after a DUI. The Hilton family, ladies and gentlemen. (Celebslam)

I know it's been, like, five hours since the last time Carrie Prejean flashed her tits, so here she is slipping her judgmental nipple at the beach. (HollyWire)

What? Rue McClanahan suffered a stroke? Aw seriously? What the eff? (CelebSmack)

Is it weird that I think Christina Aguilera looks pretty good? (usemycomputer)

Because I think she's adorable, here are some more pics of Amanda Bynes in Maxim. (Celeb Jihad)

Apparently, nude pics of Jesse McCartney (remember him? Me neither) might be hitting the internet soon, and it features him in a candy thong. No, really. (Allie Is Wired)