As you've probably heard by now, Spider-Man 4 is fucking dead. I'd probably care more if Spider-Man 3 hadn't sucked so badly. (Pajiba)

The good news: This post has lots of Channing Tatum, who is pretty. The bad news: it goes into graphic detail about how he burned his penis. (Yeeeah!)

Tom Cruise won the honour of being the sexiest short guy alive. All together now...AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (The Blemish)

Shane Sparks got kicked off of America's Best Dance Crew for FUCKING MOLESTING CHILDREN. (Seriously? OMG!)

Sarah Palin is going to be a contributor for FOX, because of fucking course she is. Sadly, her bit will still be funnier than The 1/2 Hour News Hour. (Celebitchy)

Usher had $1 Million worth of jewelery stolen from his car. In related news, who the fuck keeps that much jewelery in their car? I mean really? (BricksandStones)

This clip of Jerry O'Connell impersonating Joe Francis would be so much cooler if it wasn't taken from the set of Piranha 3D. (Agent Bedhead)

Eva Mendes does her best to make white jeans look sexy, and not like some tragic 80's throwback. (POTP)