I know this is supposed to be the year where Lindsay finally starts getting her shit together, but unless her definition of improvement is "getting paid to escort some skeezy old Austrian dude around town"...Actually, considering the year she's had, that actually IS a step in the right direction for her.

A limelight-loving Austrian says he's taking Lindsay Lohan to the famous Vienna Opera Ball next month.

Richard Lugner, a quirky 77-year-old entrepreneur known for his young girlfriends and appearance on reality TV, invites a different female star to the flashy event each year and keeps local media in suspense for weeks before divulging his pick. (Source)

Okay, so granted it's not like she'll be turning tricks anytime soon, but come on, it's Lindsay Lohan. Girl would probably give you a rusty trombone for a QT of coke and a Vodka Red Bull. If you catch her on a good night, she might even finger you for a part in an ABC Family movie. Ever wonder how she got on Labour Pains? Yeah.