Have you ever noticed that stories of pretty, white blond woman being kidnapped are the only kidnapping stories people ever hear about? Well, today is no exception because Heidi Montag was almost kidnapped! Well, no, not really, but someone thought she was being kidnapped, which is pretty close, right? Well, no, of course it isn't.

Call off the dogs: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt haven't been kidnapped, despite dramatic reports.

Shortly after police were called to their Los Angeles residence Wednesday, a rep for the couple explained to UsMagazine.com, "Heidi was covering her head with a pillowcase to avoid the paparazzi on her way into her home. A construction worker saw this from across the street and called police thinking Heidi was being kidnapped." (Source)

Seriously? Did the fact that Heidi was surrounded by fucking flashbulbs not tip him off that maybe Heidi was just being a fucking idiot, as per usual? Normally, I would say that there's nothing funny about kidnapping, but if someone offered me the opportunity to ensure that Heidi and Spencer would never be seen or heard from ever again, you better fucking believe I'd take it.