The Golden Globes were on Sunday, just in case you have just woken up from a conveniently timed coma, but since Stacey and I took Martin Luther King Jr. off because shut up, we haven't really discussed it. But it's a slow fucking news day right now, which gives me the opportunity to make fun of Chloe "Oh look at me I have an UMLAUT how freaking special" Sevigny, who wore a dress so fucking stupid it was even more embarrassing than that time she blew the director of The Brown Bunny on camera. Not only does she look like a giant Maxi Pad, but she almost tore her dress onstage which I'm entirely sure was God's way of punishing her for looking like a giant period catcher. Seriously, he may be an all-loving God, but that dress is unforgivable.