Oh. Em. JEEBUS TAP-DANCING CHRIST. It's finally happened: Miss Piggy has gone on the record about the Tiger Woods controversy on The Wendy Williams, and it. is. Actually kind of depressing at this point.

"My Kermie is nothing like [Tiger]. I just want to say, he would never do anything untoward moi, but, if he did, you can rest assured there'd be a hole in one, and he'd be the one!"

• Miss Piggy, chiming in on the Tiger Woods scandal during a sit-down with Wendy Williams this week. (Source)

Seriously, you know you're fucked when even a pile of felt and ping-pong ball eyes in the shape of an anthropomorphic pig is calling you a filthy manwhore. Although to be fair, Kermit is TOTALLY cheating on Piggy with Electric Mayhem's Janice. I'm counting down the days until Kermie gets into a car crash after Miss Piggy cuts his brakes and shoves Beeker in his tailpipe.