And lo, Hollywood blessed us with another movie about slutty rodents, and David Cross bought himself another fucking house. (Pajiba)

This is what I love about Sarah taking over on Yeeeah!: There's always an installment of Lily Allen Cute Watch. Sadly, this may be the last for a while. *Sad Panda* (Yeeeah!)

Kim Kardashian got peed on by a monkey, although to be fair, she's probably used to getting pissed on at this point, so HA! (The Blemish)

Mariah Carey had to have her fat ass carried up some stairs because of fucking course she did. (Seriously? OMG!)

Kanye West spent the Holidays feeding the homeless. Great. How am I supposed to make fun of you for being a good person? BITENUKER! (Celebitchy)

Kourtney Kardashian sold baby pictures to Life & Style Magazine. Who fucking called it? (BricksandStones)

Kristin Stewart is a blond now. Well, good for her I suppose. (Agent Bedhead)

Katy Perry and Russell Brand are engaged? As long as they promise to only sleep together from now on, okay then. (POTP)