Carl's Jr., never one to shy away from the opportunity to grab the celebutard of the day and get them to shovel piles of their greasy-ass food down their face holes while flaunting their silicon funbags, has released a commercial featuring Kim Kardashian eating one of their new one-kajillion calorie salads. Suffice to say, Kim spouts thinly veiled sexual metaphors in a breathy voice while the camera lingers for uncomfortably long periods of time on her tits, none of which have anything to do with the salad in question. All I can say is, thank God they chose Kim over her sister, Garfield's Bitchy Cat Girlfriend, otherwise a pair of forks would have mysteriously found their way into my eyes.