People magazine on newsstands today has the exclusive wedding photos of Kevin Jonas and his guidette bride Danielle Deleasa. Huh. That's funny ... If everything that MTV show has taught me is true, I thought that her kind preferred men with the skin tone of an Oompa Loompa, painted on abs and more shit in their hair than the Exxon Valdez dropped on Alaska's coastline. (Whee! Dated jokes!) Its not racism, it's sociology. The show says so.

Kevin Jonas with his new bride and his white girl ass on honeymoon in Cabo: