Hey, you know what's the absolute worst fucking idea ever? Giving Tila Tequila a record label! Completely implausible you say? HA! Tila Tequila laughs at your silly notions of common sense or personal dignity. St. Tila Tequila is launching her own record label in 2010 no matter what the naysayers say, despite the fact that she has the financial skills of a shopaholic hobo with no hands.

PS-my Record Label Launches next year & I already found my first act that I just signed! He is going to be HUGE! Im still lookin 2 sign more

The acts I sign to my record label will go on tour with me & immediately become successful cuz being signed by me gets u lots of press! YAY! (Source)

You read that right: Not only is she going to be running other people's fledgling carreers into the ground, but she's going to inflict her own comatose, lobotomy-inducing music onto the unsuspecting masses. Kinda like syphilis, which she also happens to have. I'm honestly not sure which one I'm more terrified about. I think it depends whether you value your ears or your genitals more. Either way, St. Tila Tequila will damage them beyond repair.