So apparently, you straights took away our right to marry AGAIN, so if you were one of those people who voted Yes on 1, maybe these movies might put some sense in your thick-ass head. (Pajiba)

Chris Martin might be cheating on Gwyneth with Kate Bosworth. In an unrelated story, the next GOOP will include a list of the best knives to cut off your lying husband's penis. (Yeeeah!)

No offense, but I really don't want to imagine what kind of kink Nicole Kidman might be into, since I'm sure it involves Botox. (The Blemish)

I don't care how many Auto Shows you do, Jason Biggs, you'll still always be the guy who fucked a pie. (Seriously? OMG!)

Oh look, Carrie Prejean (AKA Little Miss Holier-Than-Thou) might have a sextape. Suck on that, you self-righteous bitch. (Celebitchy)

As it turns out, Ashlee Simpson got booted off Melrose Place because she was a total asshole and everyone hated her. Shocking, I know. (Celebslam)

The cover for Chris Brown's upcoming album is about as classy, sophisticated and understated as he is. (HollyWire)

It's a good thing Russell Brand is amazing in bed, because he looks like he hasn't bathed in weeks. (CelebSmack)

Kate Beckinsale and Drew Barrymore do their best to look shiny and what not. (usemycomputer)

The best part about this Mormon Pinup Calendar? They tried this out a male-version a while ago and it caused a big ol' shitstorm in the church. Yay for sexism! (popbytes)

It's official: Lady Gaga's vagina spiders will destroy us all. (Celeb Jihad)