And so, with Planet 51, Dwayne Johnson only further enrages my case of Blue Balls. (Pajiba)

There was some sort of awards show last night, and you know what that means: Ugly, slutty dresses! (Yeeeah!)

New Moon had the third largest opening box office in history, proving once and for all that tween girls are both obscenely rich and fucking stupid. (The Blemish)

Jon & Kate Plus 8 is airing its final episode tonight, marking the last time you will ever see The Fat, Asian Spencer Pratt's chubb rolls on your screen. (Seriously? OMG!)

Scott Stapp says his sex tape doesn't contain any actual sex, sorta like how his albums don't contain any actual music. (Celebitchy)

As it turns out, everyone on The Los Angeles Lakers hates Garfield's Bitchy Cat Girlfriend as much as we do. (Celebslam)

Miley Cyrus is officially 17 years old today! As in, still not 18. As in, stop dressing like a child prostitute. (HollyWire)

Mrs. Potato-Head was on the Today Show today, which I'm sure your grandmother absolutely fucking loved. (CelebSmack)

Fuck it. I don't get the chance to link to XKCD that often and I'll be damned if I miss my one opportunity here. (usemycomputer)

Do people really even NEED a legitimate reason to make fun of Chris Brown at this point? The answer is no, of course not. (Allie Is Wired)

Oh all of you can just fuck right off. I love Kelly Clarkson. Suck it! (Celeb Jihad)