Ashlee Simpson dyed her hair black again, presumably in mourning after getting fired from "Melrose Place." Or maybe she's just in mourning that she's back to being the even bigger joke of a Simpson sister again. Or it could be that she's in mourning because daddy never loved her as much as Jessica, which is why she got married to a gay midget as a young age and had a baby with him that he named something stupid. Damn, Ashlee Simpson's life is depressing me. I'm gonna go cash my unemployment check, pick up some Thunderbird and hit up that sale on Ramen noodles now to cheer myself up.

During a recent "Every thing is great, look how happy we are" staged photo shopping trip: