The Second Annual Cannonball Read starts November 1st, and if you don't sign up, I'll punch you IN THE THROAT! (Pajiba)

Paul Anka is claiming Michael Jackson totally ripped him off for the song "This Is It", which is kinda pointless considering the song is kinda totally shit. (Yeeeah!)

Roman Polanski says that jail depresses him. Well you know what depresses me? Little girls being drugged and raped, so shut the fuck up. (The Blemish)

Okay, this may very well be the best thing ever: Alanis Morissette was on You Can't Do That On Television. And we have video! Best day ever. (Seriously? OMG!)

All you need to know about this link is that it involves Gerard Butler's ass. If that's not reason enough to click it, I don't know what is. (Celebitchy)

Stills from the set of Sex and the City 2, or shots from the Kentucky Derby? Make your call. (BricksandStones)

The Bear Jew once got cockblocked after his mother put New Kid On The Block sheets on his bead. All I can say is, fuck that shit, I would still hit it like a punching bag. (Agent Bedhead)

Lindsay Lohan says that Samantha Ronson's family won't let them meet because they hate Sam's talent and happiness, when in fact, they just hate Lyndsay. (POTP)

The Governator has made it legal to sue the paparazzi for taking pictures of you, which is bad news for all those people who want to see Paris Hilton's herp-hole.(Superior Gossip)