The Good News: Mike Judge's Extract is hilarious. The Bad News: It's probably one his weaker films. (Pajiba)

Eli Roth is now ranked higher on IMDB than Brad Pitt, probably because of his gigantic Jewish schlong. (Agent Bedhead)

I'm not saying Pete Wentz is gay or anything, but the guy can tell the flavour of a popsicle just by sitting on it. (Yeeeah!)

Good news for people who love terrible television and boobies: Blake Lively slipped a nipple. HAHA! Dangly Bits. (The Blemish)

Attention ladies and like-minded men: The line for Daniel Craig Moustache Rides forms on the right. (Seriously? OMG!)

Megan Fox continues to her epic quest to publicly tear Michael Bay's minuscule penis off. (Celebitchy)

Way to go, unemployed white women who have too many kids for no discernible reason. Way to ruin motherhood, assholes. (Celeb Jihad)

Katherine Heigl is temporarily leaving Grey's Anatomy, possibly to eat more puppies. (BricksAndStones)

Lindsay Lohan will straight up steal your baby and give it some form of VD. (POTP)