Despite numerous pictures floating about the blagonets depicting Lady Gaga with either a really bad tuck job or the biggest camel toe since Peaches' first album, Gaga went on the record to say that know, she is not secretly smuggling extra bits in her annoyingly sparkly panties. Because you were probably just dying to find out what was in there, weren't you?

Lady Gaga has branded claims she is a hermaphrodite "ridiculous".

The 'Poker Face' singer furiously denied rumours she has both male and female genitalia, insisting the speculation has gone beyond a joke.

The 23-year-old star told Australia's Matt and Jo radio show: "It's too low brow for me to even discuss. I've made fun of it before but to talk about it is ridiculous." (Source)

You see? Lady Gaga doesn't have a penis. Actually, I kinda doubt she has a vagina either. She's probably some sort of cyborg sent from the future to annoy humanity to death with her dumb fucking clothes and her irritatingly catchy songs. In five years, we'll either be her slaves, forced to build statues in her honour, or we'll be dead by her stupid, glittery hands. Don't trust that bitch.

Here's Madame Kielbasa in Tokyo: