DJ AM died this past weekend of a drug overdose. There really isn't anything funny about this. (Celebslam)

Disney has bought Marvel Entertainment, which means that Mickey Mouse now owns Wolverine. You soulless bastards. (Pajiba)

Oh look, lady Gaga is on the cover of V Magazine and she's-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! (Yeeeah!)

Demi Moore never had plastic surgery? Yeah, and I never got drunk off of a bottle of white wine then swallowed an entire can of whipped cream. (The Blemish)

I'm not sure who Stacy Haiduk is, but she is obviously completely and totally off her shit. (Seriously? OMG!)

Carrie Prejean is suing the Miss California Pageant for firing her over "discrimination". Guess that business about not fulfilling her contract had NOTHING to do with it. (Celebitchy)

What? Dogs don't go to heaven after all? Fuck that shit, my little Kahlua is a fucking SAINT. (omg blog)

Mickey Rourke looks like a wishing troll on a bender. And with a really bad tan. (CelebSmack)

Oh hey, it's that blond bitch from The Hills. No, not that one, the other one. No, not THAT one, the other one. (usemycomputer)

Miley Cyrus is drinking a milkshake! What a terrible role model! She should be ashamed. ASHAMED! (Celeb Jihad)

Brad and Angelina bought gerbils, apparently to put up each others' butts. (Allie is Wired)