Here's the trailer for New Moon, because God hates you. (Pajiba)

HOLY FUCKING FUCK, Britney Spears wore ANOTHER BIKINI! Today she's wearing PURPLE! What a TWIST! (Yeeeah!)

It's official: Literally EVERYONE hates Gwyneth Paltrow and her stupid GOOP-ey face. (The Blemish)

WHOOOOOOOOA, when did Steven Tyler go from "Washed-Up Rocker" to "Your Cracked-Put Granny"? (Seriously? OMG!)

Madonna said that Jesus Luz is "The love of her life", which is saying a lot considering she's seen more celebrity cock then a Hollywood Urologist. Oh, I kid, I kid. (Celebitchy)

Here are four words I wished I would never say on this site: Naomi. Campbell. Upskirt. Shot. MY EYES! MY EYES ARE BLEEDING!!! (Celeb Jihad)

Kim Kardashian is set to appear on an episode of a TV show you'll never watch or hear anything about. It's still a step up from Disaster Movie, though. (BricksAndStones)

Katy Perry apparently got her massive bazoongas by praying to God. So next time you wonder where God is when little kids are dying in Sri Lanka, he was off giving some bimbo huge tits. (Agent Bedhead)

Eric Dane may have the world's most boring three-way sex tape, but he is pretty, isn't he? (POTP)

Nothing to see here folks, just Jaime Pressly getting massively wasted and peeing on the sidewalk. Move it along. (Superior Gossip)