In case you're wondering if G.I. Joe will be any good, well, it's based on a line of fucking toys, how good do you THINK it's gonna be? (Pajiba)

Goddammit, Britney is actually kinda looking good. You might wanna take some notes, Lindsay. (Yeeeah!)

I'm still not sure who exactly Kristin Cavallari is, but I would really appreciate it if someone would just kill her already. (The Blemish)

Jimmy Kimmel spent $35,000 to rent a crane for Sienna Miller, which is $35,000 more than anyone should ever spend on Sienna Miller. (Seriously? OMG!)

In case you're wondering, no, Lady Gaga is NOT a hermaphrodite. The rumours that she is a gigantic idiot are, however, entirely true. (Celebitchy)

Dane Cook tried to cut into the front of the line to see Harry Potter? What is he, twelve-years-old? Does he still drink Mike's Hard Lemonade while peeping at his dad's Playboys? (Celebslam)

Apparently, even non-sentient search engines think Paris Hilton is a stupid spoiled whore. HA! (HollyWire)

Remember Constantine Maroulis? Me neither. But he did get the shit kicked out of him, so I guess that's pretty funny, right? (CelebSmack)

I absolutely DESPISE Katy Perry, but I kinda like what she's wearing. In my defense, I'm dead inside. (usemycomputer)

You know that Leighton Meester sex tape that's floating about out there? Well, according to her, it's not real. Suuuuuure it's not. (Celeb Jihad)

Proving once and for all that there really is no God, Katie Price's book has topped the best selling list. (Allie is Wired)

On that note, I'll see you bitches next Friday, as next week I'll be in Toronto (again) to make an appearance at GoodHandy's. Until next week, I leave you in the capable, drunken hands of Stacey. Later!