For those of you who said Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (In My Pants) had the highest movie body count, lucky you! (Pajiba)

It's a good thing Lady Gaga pointed out her vagina with a big arrow, or else we'd never be able to find it. (Yeeeah!)

As it turns out, Robert Pattinson is about as sick and tired of Twilight fan girls as we are. Seriously, get over it girls. You're embarrassing yourselves. (The Blemish)

Kathy Griffin is set to be the host of the roast of Joan Rivers. There is absolutely nothing about that previous sentence that I don't totally fucking love. (Seriously? OMG!)

Looks like Jennifer Aniston will have to choose between either Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper. THIS! IS! BOOOOORIIIIIING! (Celebitchy)

Nick Hogan celebrated the 4th of July at the beach instead of where he should have been: Rotting in jail for turning someone into a fucking vegetable. Piece of shit... (Celebslam)

Nicole Kidman got all gussied up and beautified for a commercial for...Soda? Really? Ummmm...Okay then. (omg blog)

If Lindsay Lohan didn't want to have her picture taken, maybe she should have, you know, stayed home? Just puttin' that out there. (CelebSmack)

Here's the adorably tiny Christina Ricci out and about on the 4th of July. Awwww, she's so tiny! (usemycomputer)

Ryan Gosling hitting on Lauren Conrad? BAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHANo. No he did not. (Lainey Goss)

In today's "D-List Celebrity that everyone thinks is dead but actually isn't" news, Tom Green is not dead. I repeat, TOM GREEN IS NOT DEAD. (Allie is Wired)