Wall-E was a cannibal? Really? Oh come on, what the crap, people? (Pajiba)

Lily Allen says she was totally comfortable showing off her adorable little tater tots. My God, even her boobs are cuter than baby kittens! (Celebitchy)

Here's a courtroom sketch of Paris Hilton lookin EXACTLY like the Crypt Keeper. Let me just say, BAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! (Celebslam)

Not only is Hugh Jackman fun to look at, but he's also a pretty nice guy too. Spiffy! (Lainey Goss)

Jenna Fischer played Softball for charity! All together now: Awwwww! (usemycomputer)

Oh my God, Miss Butter-Wouldn't-Melt-In-My-Mouth for waaaaaaasted last night! (Yeeeah!)

Oh look, Rachel Ray finally got surgery to fix her wonky-ass voice. Wooooo! (The Blemish)

Here's everything you wanted to know about semi-famous peoples' sex lives, but were too uninterested to ask! (Seriously? OMG!)

Holly Madison got hitched to The Travelocity Gnome. Man, that gnome is reeeeeeally slumming it, isn't he? (HollyWire)

Here's the Pouty O'Hooters' photoshoot for Mango. (CelebSmack)

Jon Gosselin continues to show some GREAT parenting skills. Dumbass. (Allie is Wired)