(500) Days of Summer is out right now, and if you don't go see it, I will personally come to your house and beat you, guaranteed! (Pajiba)

Joe Jackson literally BEAT HIS OWN SON STERILE. What. The. Fuck. (Yeeeah!)

Why is Gerard Butler licking Skank Cancer? Does he enjoy the taste of puppy blood too? (The Blemish)

And now for something completely different...CONDOMS! For the love of God people, use condoms! (Seriously? OMG!)

Holy shit, Kathie Griffin was an extra on Michael Jackson's Pepsi Commercial? Ummmm...What the fuckedy fuck? (Celebitchy)

GASP! Will Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson get back together now that they're both single, washed-up nobodies? (Celebslam)

Ne-Yo walked off his concert the other day in tears, saying he was sick. I'll make sure I use that excuse next time I have a(nother) nervous breakdown in public! (HollyWire)

No Shit! Pink and Carey Hart are back together again! Yay! Okay seriously, these two are like the cutest couple EVER. (CelebSmack)

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, Kim Kardashian gives it herpes. (usemycomputer)

Oh my God, gratuitous pictures of Mason Wyler Ryan Gosling! Be still my beating heart...(Lainey Goss)

Looks like Tony Romo wasted no time hitting the rebound, huh? A class act this one is. (Allie is Wired)