Stupid asshole Paris Hilton dumped her stupid asshole boyfriend Doug Reinhardt after they got into a fight outside of a Hollywood nightclub Tuesday night when he was supposedly caught checking out another woman. I would say this is another notch on the ol' bedpost but that thing is probably whittled down to a stump by now.

Paris' spokesperson told reporters: "In response to the enquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. "They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy."

A source close to the couple say a desperate-looking Doug was locked out of Paris' LA home yesterday after she blocked his right to enter her gated community.

The same pal told TMZ.com that Paris couldn't be happier, because she now realises: "Doug is a douche just like everyone tried to tell her and that he was only dating her for publicity." (Source)

Well, duh. Of course he's a douche. You can practically smell the fresh spring breeze-masked vinegar fumes coming from the computer screen when you look at him. I just assumed that was one of Paris Hilton's main criteria for choosing a boyfriend, right behind "compatible STDs" and "matches her purse."

At the premiere of the TV pilot "Rex" on Monday: