Oh Wow, Big Surprise

lambert060909.jpgOMG guyz! You're never going to guess who's gay? Yes, Adam Lambert has finally come out in Rolling Stone, which was the least kept and most obvious secret in the history of ever. In the interview, Gay Hecubus explains his decision to wait to talk about his sexual orientation to Rolling Stone:

“I don’t think it should be a surprise for anyone to hear that I’m gay,” Lambert says in the new issue of Rolling Stone, hitting newsstands this week.

“Right after the finale, I almost started talking about it to the reporters, but I thought, ‘I’m going to wait for Rolling Stone, that will be cooler,’ ” he tells us. “I didn’t want the Clay Aiken thing and the celebrity-magazine bullshit. I need to be able to explain myself in context. (Source)

I love how he doesn't waste a precious opportunity like his official coming out of the closet to take a meowser little swipe at his gay "Idol" runner-up rival Clay Aiken. Clay totally had NO idea who he was fucking with when he started this feud. If Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken were transformers, Adam would be Optimus Prime and Clay Aiken would be like Soundwave the cassette-player or one of the other sad 80's technology robots who was too out of date to even make it into the movie. And then they would probably have angry robot butt sex, because I'd imagine that's what gay robot rivals do with each other.

Gay Hecucbus and "Idol" judge bestie Kara DiaGarmo at Hollywood Life's 11th Annual Young Hollywood Awards:

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3 Comments


Hey Stace!

I wanted to let ya know the gay transformers paragraph caused me to rupture a spleen laughing. So, in spite of the fact you remain one of my favorite satirical writers on the planet, I have to sue you for medical expenses.

I won't sue for money....just all of your excellent analogies so I can lay claim to the transformers line as my own.


Mrs. Plainview said:

Trouser snake. That is all.


netstarman said:

Ahhh come on he wasn't gay he was still working on the door knob when he announced he was gay. thats why he has a chipped tooth and stretch marks around his lips.