Last night on "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!" Heidi and Spencer sadly left the show after Heidi fell sick and sadly also turned out not to have been "tortured," despite previous reports. But before they left Heidi treated the cast and viewing audience to a little treat in the form of an impromptu a capella performance of one of her new songs. And if you thought Heidi Montag was a terrible singer before accompanied by music and sound producing -- let's just say that if this had been an "American Idol" audition the judges would have all laughed at her, which would have caused her to run from the room crying and head straight for the nearest CVS to buy a pack of girly pink BIC razors to slit her wrists with. Janice "Diarrhea of the Mouth" Dickinson, on the other hand, was a bit more gentle basically just telling her that she sounded like a drowing cat. Fair enough.

Still, it darn near caused Spencer Pratt to "Spence out," and thank God he didn't because it would have most likely been a category five Spencing out in which he would have actually been able to shoot his Gorton's Fisherman beard hairs like a porcupine throws its quills, effectively killing the rest of the cast. Tragedy averted!