Eminem Was In On It
Well what do you know, it turns out Eminem actually does have a sense of humor after all. I'm assuming he had to search it out from some mysterious tomb on the far ends of the Earth and that's where he's been the past few years; but according to sources with MTV, he was more or less a completely willing participant in Sacha Baron Cohen's stunt. But what people didn't know was that Eminem wasn't even his first choice:A second insider also confirms that Eminem was actually Burnett's second choice. The first? Heiress Paris Hilton, who, luckily for her, declined to participate (probably because she was on a date with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt!). "Paris is quite happy she turned down the offer," the insider tells Life & Style. (Source)
So Paris Hilton has a problem with taking balls to the face. I feel like there's a really obvious joke to be made here. Like the only person on this Earth who takes more balls to the face is Stevie Wonder's caddy. Zing!! Oh yeah, still got it.
More of Ol' Ball Face arriving for her 85th Letterman appearance last night:
The only thing that would have made it ok for Paris Hilton to be the butt of the joke (oh god, please don't fault me for that terrible pun) would be if she weren't in on it. You know she would have cried.
You know what would have been perfect? If they told her they got Eminem on board, sat her one row up and to the left of him, and then just did it to her regardless. Her face would change from one of airheaded glee to abject horror.
Is it wrong that I'm actively thinking of ways to make another human being cry?
Um, I think you meant the only person who takes MORE balls to the face is Stevie Wonder's caddy. Apparently you DON'T "still got it."
Hmm. That does sound better.
Shaddup, you.