Paris Hilton hosted at the
Jalouse Club in Cannes last night, and at some point over the course of the evening she tried to eat her stupid idiot boyfriend's face. The way I see it, there are only two reasonable excuses why anyone should kiss like this. Either if you saw a glob of spaghetti sauce on your partner's chin and wanted to clean it off ... Or, if you're a golden retriever. Period. Sure, "Hey everyone, look at me, I'm such a disgusting whore" is
technically an excuse, but I did specify "reasonable."
So much for my lunch. That's disgusting.
Um. Gross. But even grosser: the fact that he has to physically turn her face away from the camera and toward him to kiss. Is it possible to be more self-involved than Paris Hilton?
Look out, Doug! A praying mantis will eat whatever drifts between its forearms!
What's with all the bruises on her legs?
Clearly they're not kissing. She's devouring his soul.
Devouring his soul? Hope she brought something else to eat for lunch or she'll be going hungry.