Last week Brooke Hogan chatted via web cam with Perez Hilton and shit talked her mom Linda, alluding to the fact that she was doing drugs and called her 20-year-old boyfriend Charlie Hill (above) the "epitome of losers." Linda Hogan shot back, calling Brooke a liar and defending her boyfriend; who is an Eagle Scout, by the way, thank you very much. Here are some choice snippets:

Perez, if Brooke continues to spew lies on behalf of her father's lame attempt to distance himself from the reality that he is no different from the homicidal OJ Simpson, Charlie will be forced to put aside his paramedic/firefighting career path and release an album called "Redemption" which will easily surpass any of Brooke's records sales.

Brooke has always had a problem telling the truth. If it is her claim that her breasts are natural or she hasn't been banging the crap out of the pot head $tack for the last 3 years, then her comments of Charlie being a year and a half younger than her are again a complete fabrication (they are 4 months apart). She only judges Charlie because of his long hair and age, Linda doesn't judge. (Source)

Well that settles it. I can't imagine how such a well-worded, coherent and clear-headed rant could have possibly been put together by someone who was under the influence of drugs. It's sad, you know, to see families torn apart by abuse, pettiness and lies. Oh, I meant "families" in general. When it comes to the Hogans specifically I hope a new strain of airborne AIDS breaks out which only infects people with bright yellow hair.

Brooke performing with "$tacks" in a rare moment when she's not "banging the crap" out of him: