Simon Pegg and Nick Frost's Paul hasn't even begun filming yet, and already I'd gladly shive a nun just to see it. (Pajiba)

Attention all men and lesbians: The line to apply for the position of "Megan Fox's Boob Adjuster" forms to the right. You're welcome. (Yeeeah!)

I'm sure this must come as a shock to all of you, but Miley Cyrus' cradle-robbing boyfriend is kind of a total idiot. (The Blemish)

Hugh Jackman and Daniel Craig will star together on Broadway. In related news, it is now totally kosher to give two shits about Broadway. (Seriously? OMG!)

Sienna Miller loves playing an evil bitch. What a coincidence! I love playing an alcoholic! (Celebitchy)

Paris Hilton is a fantastic neighbor! And by "Fantastic" I mean "Everyone wants to throttle the bitch". (Celebslam)

Lady Gaga landed on the cover of Rolling Stone, and guess what? She looks a stupid, bubbly skank! (HollyWire)

Johnny Fairplay and Michael Lohan are going to fight each other. Please Godtopus, let it be to the death. (CelebSmack)

For no discernible reason whatsoever, here's some Anna Fairs goodness. (usemycomputer)

And just to balance it out, here's Matthew McConaughey shirtless. (popbytes)

Avril Lavigne doesn't even know how to pump gas. Everyone point and laugh at her! HA! (Lainey Goss)