Dead Weight: (Noun) The weight of an inert person or thing.

Awww, sad news: Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo are reportedly on the rocks. FYI: That would be the former Mr. Jessica Simpson and chick from "TRL," if you've forgotten. I know, it took me a minute, too.

A source close to the ex-boybander says the two “are on the rocks big time. They argue all the time, and Nick is done with her. He feels like she’s holding him back, careerwise.”

Sure enough, Lachey’s career isn’t as hot as it used to be. His latest single, “Patience,” hasn’t even cracked the pop charts, though a friend close to the singer is quick to note “it’s doing well on the adult contemporary.” (When we checked, it was No. 39 on Billboard’s Hot Adult Top 40 list after five weeks of airplay, and it topped out on the Pop 100 Airplay list at No. 75 back in March.) (Source)

FACT: The only way Vanessa could be "holding Nick back" is if she's too dumb to star in a reality show where he rolls his eyes and appears constantly visibly agitated with her. Because as history shows, that is pretty much the only thing Nick Lachey has ever proven to excel at or have a marketable talent for. He should just count his blessings he's not working as a cashier at Jiffy Lube by now.

More of Nick showing off his douchey pecs and lame tattoos at some event for a radio station in February: