Unacceptable: (Adjective) Not satisfactory or allowable.

I guess Ashlee Simpson has given up on that whole "music" thing, because she's falling back on something else she's not very good at: Acting! It's been confirmed that Ashlee is joining the cast of the "Melrose Place" remake.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, she will play a lead character named Violet, "a bright-eyed but shrewd small-town girl and recent L.A. transplant who has come to town with a secret."

The trade reports that her character resembles the blond, budding-Southern-belle starlet Sandy Harling, played by Amy Locane on the original Fox series. (Source)

Despite my better judgment, I had actually kinda been holding out hope that this new "Melrose Place" wouldn't be terrible. But now, between this and the news of Mischa joining the cast, there is no chance on this Earth that it won't completely suck. And by "completely suck" I mean "be awesome." The original "Melrose Place" sucked too, and that's why it was so great. I'm still not convinced that the character of "Billy" wasn't literally played by a mannequin resembling Andrew Shue. This shit is going to be appointment viewing, trust me.

More of The Amazing Chin and her chimbley sweep husband at a Richard Branson launch party last month: